ERROL PARKER | Editor-at-large | Contact
The Prime Minister has been forced to defend a controversial aspect of his government’s budget this afternoon, telling media that the $19bn earmarked for private schools ensures the nation has a steady supply of mediocre politicians long into the future.
In a rare phone call with The Advocate, the man this masthead used to call The Nightwatchman explained that having private schools in society is just something we need to accept as a society.
“We need to make sure there’s always politicians like Tony Abbott, Malcolm Turnbull, Barnaby Joyce and I in parliament because we represent a certain section of society,” said Scott Morrison.
“People like us are from the class that controls vast amounts of wealth and property. Just because we were born in the right postcode to parents who put their kids first, doesn’t mean that our voice is worth anything less than John Q Tow Truck Driver,”
“And to your second question, we give money to private schools because private school parents pay a lot more tax than public school parents. Why should their tax go to educating some deadshit in some shithole town? When it could go to their local private school where it’d be spent on something for their own kids? For me, it’s a non-alignment,”
“Spending this money will ensure Australia has a steady stream of mediocre politicians long into the future. Lord knows we need it in the Senate! Lots of public school people making noise up there! Pipe down, peasants! [laughs]”
“That last part was off the record, by the way.”
More to come.
