ERROL PARKER | Editor-at-large | Contact
Stuart Robert, the Minister for Government Services and the NDIS, has fucked up again.
His job is safe for the time being because Scott Morrison explained they haven’t been able to find him the right board to sit on for the remainder of his professional life.
The Prime Minister spoke to this masthead this afternoon as news broke that Stuart Robert, Dan Teehan and Simon Birmingham charged taxpayers thousands of dollars to attend a function full of Liberal Party donors.
“Yeah, look,” said Scott.
“It’s taking longer than we expected, to find Stuart appropriate post-politics work. Your assessment that he is a ‘dumb, sucked mango seed looking gronk’ is not accurate because he is actually quite handsome in the right lighting and using that word makes me feel sick so I will not be repeating it,”
“It’s not the first time I’ve disagreed with The Betoota Advocate and it certainly won’t be the last. But more to your question, yes Stuart is on the way out but we haven’t secured him the right board to sit on,”
“Because if he continues to fuck up, it will reflect poorly on me and if he fucks up real bad, he could go to jail and he simply wouldn’t do well in that enviroment. I know a thing or two about law enforcement so I’d know.”
The Advocate reached out to Mr Robert’s office for comment but was told we wouldn’t be given one.
More to come.
