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Clyde Meriton (89) has not seen any of his loved ones for three months now.

As a resident currently detained within Victoria’s chaotic and dangerous aged care sector, Clyde would really like to know who is responsible for the fucked year he has spent in lock-down, terrified that there will be a COVID-19 outbreak in his nursing home at any moment.

Out of all of the horror and suffering currently taking place in Melbourne, by fare the scariest finding is that more than 280 people living in government-subsidised residential aged care nationally have died from the virus.

It has, however, been very unclear as to which government is responsible for these deaths.

Prime Minister Morrison has done all he can to avoid wearing the blame for the disaster and pushed it onto the Victorian state government, a move taken straight out of the bushfire response playbook.

Premier Andrews says only a handful of the active coronavirus cases in aged care are in state government-run facilities, despite the Prime Minister insisting the blame for the outbreak should be shared between state and federal governments.

But terrified residents like Clyde want answers. It’s for this reason that Scott Morrison has gone one further today and blamed the local councils, because they are the most accessible

With nothing but time on his hands, Clyde has spent two weeks on call-waiting with the Prime Minister’s office.

Last night, between press conferences, Clyde was able to hold the Prime Minister responsible for falling short in his Federal Government’s responsibilities to ensure a humane quality of life for the pensioners that vote for him no matter what.

“Mate. I’m not the bloke you should be getting stuck into!” a defensive Morrison shouted at Clyde.

“Andrews is your premier. Talk to him. This responsibility should be shared between him and your local mayor. Where’d you say you were living?”

“Frankston? Well take it up with your local mayor. It’s got nothing to do with me. They are trying to get out of this one but they’ve really got two jobs here mate”

“Pick up bins, and ensure the safety and wellbeing of every single at risk member of their community living in poorly resourced aged care facilities during a global pandemic”

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