ERROL PARKER | Editor-at-large | Contact
The Prime Minister said he received a call from his Russian counterpart this morning to make an offer he simply had to refuse.
Scott Morrison outlined the key points of discussion he had with Vladamir Putin early this morning after the former KGB spook learned of the Australian Government’s predicament with some dissident MPs.
“So pretty much, Putin has offered me some leftover Novichok agent to use to solve some of the nation’s key political issues at the moment,” said Morrison to the media this morning outside parliament.
“If you’re playing at home, Novichok is a nerve agent that has been found spritzed into the faces of people who’ve expressed a negative opinion of the Russian government. A simple coincidence, I’m sure. Sometimes, they even turn it into a tea. Either way, it’s pretty grim,”
“Anyway, Putin has told me this morning that he knows about the problems I’ve been having with some people within my own party making unhelpful claims regarding this Pangolin Plague. He said I could have some of this Novichok as an expression fo good faith between the two nations. Which is something I appreciate but I had to explain to Mr Putin that in Australia, we simply do not spritz people in the face with a nerve agent and watch them kick and buck and seize up on the floor of a cafe as their brain turns to mush. We simply don’t do that here in Australia.”
The Advocate spoke very briefly with the Russian Ambassador to Australia regarding the offer and learned the Russian people just want all Australians to be safe and protected.
“The offer is there, forever, in case a change of mind takes place,” they said.
“Our friendship with Australia will continue, forever.”
More to come.
