CLANCY OVERELL | Editor | CONTACT
Personal trainer/aspiring Instagram influencer Nick Westerman (32) put himself out there this week by showing off his collection of artisanal candles valued at over $4000.
“I get them at farmer’s markets. Got to do our bit for the drought,” stated Westerman.
“They help me relax. This is my space.”
Westerman debuted his upscale collection of wax and string to Tinder date Sharnice Oliver (33) who suspected Westerman may have some internal baggage but had predicted nothing of this scale.
“He had so many candles, he had to give me a tour of them,” stated Oliver shivering beneath a safety blanket.
“That’s four and a half hours I am never getting back…”
“He’s not taking the break up too well aye”
According to Oliver, while many of the candles had a pleasing aroma they did very little to disguise the jumble of dirty clothes, extension cables and takeaway containers in Westerman’s bedroom let alone the cold look of abandon in the young man’s eyes which, if anything, looked more distant and alone in the perilous flicker of candlelight.
“You’ll like this one, it’s citrus and sage. Reminds me of the holidays my parents used to take me on when I was a kid, before my mum and my uncle ended up…oh this one is good too, it’s lemon myrtle.”
More to come.
