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After decades of production, the middling Australian dry style lager known as Tooheys Extra Dry has been officially labelled the ‘Adelaide’ of beer.
This follows a report by the consumer advocacy group Comparisons of Licensed Drink making Operators & Not-So-Good Equivalents (COLDONE).
Lead researcher of COLDONE, Professor Nathan Perkins says his organisation wants to make it abundantly clear that being the ‘Adelaide’ is not necessarily a bad thing.
“What we have found is, that Tooheys Extra Dry definitely has its moments, but it’s not, you know…”
“It’s not one of the world beaters”
The report was drawn up after a survey of hundreds of thousands of respondents from all geographical regions and all age groups over 18.
Other findings show that despite being the 10th most popular beer in Australia by volume sold, being handed a Tooheys Extra Dry is equivalent to being sat next to your aunty’s polite new boyfriend at Christmas. Good company, but again, not stealing the show.
With more premium beers likened to a sunny beach holiday, the trusty Tooheys Extra Dry has been compared with a ‘lagoon holiday’ – meaning, it’s all good fun, but yeah, it’s not a beach holiday.
Local Tooheys Extra Dry drinker, Damien (fleet logistical manager, 35, Betoota Heights) says that he’s happy with these comparisons.
“I like Tooheys Extra Dry because it’s likable. That’s all it needs to be in my opinion.” he says.
“I also like cars. Doesn’t mean I’m gonna be putting 20s on my WRX.”
Representatives from Tooheys Extra Dry say that they are more than happy with being the ‘stock rims’ of Australian beer – and trusts that their consumers know that the beer isn’t pretending to be anything it isn’t. Because their consumers aren’t pretenders either.
For non-sporting comparisons, the report also found that Tooheys Extra Dry is the “auto-tune” of beer. Definitely something you can tap your foot too, but yeah, it’s not winning Grammys.
The report also found that while Tooheys Extra Dry may be the stock rims of beer, the late bad boy spin off Tooheys Extra Dry PLATINUM will be remembered as the spinner rims of beers. This is mainly due to the flashy packaging, and the beer’s popularity amongst blokes who enjoy finishing their beers on the nature strip while the maxi taxi is waiting.
MORE TO COME.
