EFFIE BATEMAN Lifestyle Contact

As the government moves forward with their plans to ban people under the age of sixteen from accessing social media, there have been calls of concern from young boys who now worry they will no longer know what their mums get up to, should video games fall under the same umbrella.

Speaking to some students from Betoota’s most prestigious private school, The Whooton School for boys, The Advocate discovers how video games have given teenagers an inside glimpse into the secret lives of their mums, who apparently get up to quite a bit of mischief while they’re at school.

“If they ban Fortnite, how would I have known my mum’s apparently been rooting everyone?”, asks Jacob Coochie-Bates, 13, who has received multiple ‘i fuked ur mum’ messages from his mates, “I feel like that’s information I should know.”

Another student, Mason Reginald-Kingsley, 10, says he too, has discovered a lot about his mum through his unsupervised access to third person shooter games.

“I don’t know what it means, but it sounds naughty”, says Mason, clearly lying.

More to come.

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