ERROL PARKER | Editor-at-large | Contact
Italy and other assorted lands of disease and pestilence across Europe have banded together to block the shipment of a quarter-million spicy cough jabs to Austalia, which is probably a good thing when you think about it.
At the moment, Europe is completely fucked, according to Australia’s peak scientific body.
The CSIRO explained in a report today that on second thought, it’s probably a good thing that Italy is keeping those doses for themselves because everything is fucked there and falling to bits while people around Australia just carry on like nothing’s that different.
“I don’t think we should be too annoyed at the Italians. They need all the help they can get. They can cook a nice meal and draw a nice shot of espresso but Jesus wept, get them to organise something or build a car that doesn’t explode and you’d be fucked,” said the CSIRO’s Professor Peter Fridge-Magnet.
“So they should just keep it and make sure they don’t put another couple thousand people to the sword,”
“But if you think they’re fucked. They’re not half as fucked as England. If anybody needs help shaking this plague, it’s the hapless Poms,”
“But yeah, we’ll be right.”
The full report is available on the CSIRO’s website.
More to come.
