Scott Morrison Appoints Chris Lilley To Help De-Escalate Situation With China

LOUIS BURKE | Culture | CONTACT

Realising he will probably die due to his own environmental negligence before he receives an apology from China, Prime Minister Scott Morrison believes he has just the plan to de-escalate tensions between Australia and China.

In a press conference today Mr Morrison announced Australia would be sending a comedian of Chinese heritage to Beijing to delight the People’s Congress in the style of a medieval court jester.

The world is now bracing for WW3 as Mr Morrison hit play on the song ‘Kung-Fu Fighting’ and revealed his would be peacemaker; North Shore Comedian and everything-face enthusiast Chris Lilley.

“I used to say ‘phorgien policy’ is ‘phun’ but I spell them with a ph!” said Mr Lilley, in the style of his character Ricky Wong that was a real character he played on the ABC.

The rest of Lilley’s 12 minute monologue was indistinguishable to the press gallery as it was drowned out by the sounds of Mr. Morrison’s laughter. 

When asked about his decision to use Lilley as a makeshift diplomat, Mr Morrison stated now was not the right time to discuss the decision he had literally just announced.