ERROL PARKER | Editor-at-large | Contact
The portraits of past Prime Ministers adorn a foyer in Parliament House. Some better than others.
Julia Gillard’s is the last portrait on the right, Scott Morrison walks past it every day but doesn’t pause to admire it. The Prime Minister winks at John Howard, smiles at Hawke and rolls his eyes at Gough.
Scott told our reporter this morning as they walked the halls of Parliament that if he could, he’d touch the portrait of Bob Menzies as he walked past. He is genesis – according to Howard. Ben Chifley? Scott said he’s not really sure what to think about Ben Chifley.
“Isn’t he from Bathurst?” he asked our reporter.
“Tommy Raudonikis is from Bathurst. My rugby league advisor told me that. Is he right?”
But before The Advocate was able to answer, Scott paused in front of John Curtin’s portrait and locked eyes with the oil.
The four-eyed West Australian was our Prime Minister for the lion’s share of World War II, Scott explained.
“John was quite racist,” he sighed.
“But it was the 40s. Everyone was racist. People often gloss over John’s achievements during the war. He was a great war-time leader. I’m a great war-time leader,”
“We’re both fighting a threat from overseas. John’s being millions of Japanese soldiers hellbent on taking Australia for themselves, mine being a simple flu that deletes Boomers at a rate of knots. I feel like I’m in his shoes. I feel his wisdom. I nod solemnly at him each time we cross paths,”
“Ok, I need to run but I wouldn’t leave out that way. Barnaby is down there smoking in the courtyard and last time I spoke to him he said he wanted to ‘nut that Clancy Overell cunt’ and ‘uppercut the mutt dog so hard that he ends up in prison and Clancy’s organs end up in a rich banker’ so I’d leave out the front. I don’t know if he wants to do the same to you but I wouldn’t risk it.”
More to come.
