ERROL PARKER | Editor-at-large | Contact
The Prime Bloke Scotty Morrison said in Parliament yesterday that women still having a whinge about the price of tampons and pads should look into the practice of free-bleeding.
He explained that when you actually think about it, tampons are a luxury item because they’re not actually needed.
“Mr Speaker, on the opposite side of this chamber, we have climate zealots who profess to live a greener lifestyle than anyone in governemnt,” he said.
“And guess what Mr Speaker?”
“What?” said the Speaker.
“Nobody in the opposition free-bleeds, which is the greenest alternative when it comes to having your fucking period!”
“I would say to any woman who’s still having a big old sook about the price of tampons to look into free-bleeding. It’s free, it’s cheap and it’s good for the planet!”
The Prime Minister turned around to make sure the women in his party were smiling at laughing at his takedown of Big Tampon and Labor.
“You see, Mr Speaker! Even the women of the Liberal Party agree! They’re making my job too easy, this Opposition!”
The Advocate reached out to various female Liberals MPs but we’re told they weren’t about to throw their entire career down the toilet at this time.
More to come.`
