WENDELL HUSSEY | Cadet | CONTACT
The Prime Minister has had to abruptly wrap up a press conference this morning, after an unfortunate facial issue.
Speaking to reporters about his shiny new Electric Vehicle policy which every expert and industry insider says is woefully inadequate, Morrison seemed to have his nose rapidly swell at a rate of centimetres.
The weird predicament which saw his snoz nearly poke the closest reporter in the eye, seemed to come on after Morrison claimed to have never told a lie in public office.
“I’m not a liar,” he continued, fumbling around at his face in shock as his nose grew.
“I don’t lie, I’m a dinky dead Aussie bloke who loves beer and footy and pies and I don’t lie,” he then said with a raised voice before quickly wrapping things up and disappearing back into parliament house.
The press conference follows mounting allegations that Scotty From Marketing is a liar, including former friend Malcolm Turnbull, former ally Emmanuel Macron and the predictable left-hand side of politics.
That has forced Morrison to come out and claim that he never really meant what he said about Labor ruining the weekend with Electric vehicles, or he never lied to Macron about this submarine deal, or lied about his efforts to source jabs from pharmacy companies, or his secret trips to the south of the UK and Hawaii, or a few other recent instances of questionable claims and recounts.
It’s not known whether the facial issue is a permanent fixture for the Prime Minister, or whether it will impact his tendency to lie whenever he’s placed under a little bit of pressure, but it’s believed he is currently seeking urgent medical attention.
More to come.
