CLANCY OVERELL | Editor | Contact
In what has been described as the greatest example of neutralising humankind’s impact on the environment, Greens leader Richard Di Natale has today unveiled a plan to make use of the plastic pollution in order to harvest energy from the sun.
“We’ve been working in partnership with Green Peace” said Senator Di Natale.
“Mainly because they’ve got the boats.”
“But we’ve sent a couple of our election booth volunteers from the Northern Rivers out to the ocean to see if it’s possible to hook up some solar panels on the trash island”
“Turns out it works a treat
The Great Pacific garbage patch, also described as the Pacific trash vortex, is a 2,700 km square gyre of marine debris particles in the central North Pacific Ocean discovered between 1985 and 1988. The collection of plastic, floating trash halfway between Hawaii and California extends over an indeterminate area of widely varying range depending on the degree of plastic concentration used to define the affected area.
Even while Australia attempts to dramatically pull back on it’s single use plastic consumption, recent statistics show that without further action there will be more plastic in the world’s oceans than fish by 2050.
Di Natale says that while this is depressing and sickening, it also has a silver lining.
“Think of how much sun juice we could harvest if that bad boy keeps growing”
“Ooooh daddy”
“But, yeah, obviously, would prefer to not have to make use of it”
Nationals backbencher Barnaby Joyce has since criticised Di Natale’s proposal and says that mining the trash island for coal would much more cost-efficient and would provide up to 1500 jobs for trash island locals.
