KEITH T. DENNETT | REAL LIFE | CONTACT
All eyes in the Rugby League universe will be on Allianz Stadium tonight as the two biggest pretenders in the competition meet to play some footy.
A match being marketed as “Pretender Bowl”, at 7:50pm the Cronulla Sharks will take on the North Queensland Cowboys to a crowd of the 2,000 Sydneysiders who couldn’t get tickets to the Swans game.
Given that whoever wins the game gets the special thrill of being fed to a rested Penrith Panthers, tonight’s exhibition match is expected to be a bit like when you’d drag a trampoline over the pool fence and start playing some Wahu footy, with both sides expected to just try a few trick shots and see who can chuck a sick backflip whilst scoring.
“It’s going to be an absolute try fest tonight; I’d be putting the house on all four wingers to score!” says NRL’s Head of Problem Gambling, Ned Brokes.
“Everyone knows this game really doesn’t mean much, so you might as well put together some hilarious multis and spend the whole game begging for a prop to score.”
Considering the Sharks got pumped 42-0 by the Panthers earlier this year, and the Cowboys let the Tigers put 30 points on them a month ago, not many NRL pundits are giving either side a chance of getting anywhere near the Grand Final.
Compounded by the fact the Panthers will be well rested for next week’s preliminary final, the game is essentially just making up the numbers in the NRL’s overpacked schedule.
“It’s a dead rubber really, just some good white noise to have on in the background,” Ned Brokes told The Advocate.
“For once, we think most pubs in Sydney will have the AFL on the big screen and the League on the little TV — even at Northies!”
