EFFIE BATEMAN Lifestyle Contact

When it comes to sticking to her morals, it appears that local woman Joceline Fenwick finds herself coming up with excuses if the people in question are A. Fictional and B. Really hot.

Well, she hopes it only pertains to fictional people, but she hasn’t really been tested that much in real life yet, so who the fuck knows.

Despite having zero interest in anything Royal related, mostly as she finds it utterly insane how the death of one person has the ability to take over every news site, result in a holiday of mourning, and elicit a politician to rename an indigenous named hospital in respect for the Queen (because apparently having multiple states, streets, hospitals and bars named after Royalty isn’t enough) Joceline is VERY interested in fictional royalty – particularly if they’re super attractive and have dragons.

Though she’d promised not to watch the House of the dragon in sheer spite of the travesty season nine of Game of Thrones was, Joceline has of course caved in as she has absolutely no self control – and, much like her obsession with Lucius Malfoy, Legolas and Thranduil, Joceline is a slut for a hot British man in a blonde wig.

This obsession now sees her actively championing incest between an uncle and his niece, because Joceline just can’t be expected to not champion a charismatic baddie with razor-sharp cheekbones.

And she refuses to be judged for it.

Letting out a bored sigh as she takes a cursory flick through the news, Joceline says she’ll stick to her weekly dose of cousins porking each other instead.

More to come.

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