WENDELL HUSSEY | Cadet | CONTACT
The southern city of Sydney is patting itself on the back today after managing to conduct a record number of Covid-19 tests.
With fears of a second wave spreading across the Harbour capital, the Government has pulled out all the stops to ensure their testing is up to scratch.
“We’ve managed to blitz the city this morning by dipping our COVID swabs in Bondi Marching Powder,” explained a health official.
“And we’ve had a huge response.”
“Everyone around the city seems to have flocked to get tested after hearing they might be able to get a free swab,” laughed the official.
“We’ve even had people getting multiple tests in a short period of time just to make sure, so we are really boosting our numbers.”
“I guess everyone’s ears pricked up when they realised a free bump was on offer, which is the way things run down here. – and they didn’t have to endure a conversation with a mate’s mate.”
The official explained that it’s not going to set the state back an arm or a leg either.
“We just sponged some off that shipment that was pulled up off the coast the other day.”
“People were saying it was good to have something cleanish. Not a trace of glass or baby powder in it.”
“So we’ll keep going until we run out, which given the appetite of this city could be a couple of weeks away.”
