Teens Urged To Forget Climate Change And Focus On Paying Off HECS

LOUIS BURKE | Culture | CONTACT

Australian high school students who staged a class walk-out to raise awareness for climate changed have been heavily criticised by several sitting MPs, who have encouraged the students to focus on more useful things like how they are going to be able to afford to pay off their eventual HECs debt.

In what may be the first example of teenagers seeking attention for a worthy cause, the high school students staged the protest to call out the government for their lack of action on climate change, sacrificing time that could have been spent in drama class or PE.

Despite taking a week off with a case of the grumpies just months earlier, many current MPs and Senators have accused the students of acting in a Ferris Bullerian manner and have suggested they get back into the classroom and try to figure out how they are going to pay back their share of the estimated $180 billion the government will be owed in student debts by 2026.

Prime Minister and man most likely to want coal for Christmas, Scott Morrison, has chimed in and reminded these kids to get back to class unless they are gay kids in a religious school.

“It’s just a phase,” stated PM Scott Morrison, not quite making it clear if he was talking about the teenagers or climate change itself.

Protestor Elise Connor (16) stated she is not happy with the government’s response to their protests and has been surprised to be met with negativity instead of continued indifference.

“At this rate my plan is just to wait until the global warming apocalypse happens so then I won’t even have to pay off HECs.”

Following Connor’s remarks, the ATO released a statement saying in the event of a global warming apocalypse those with debts owing would still be required to make weekly repayments either in the form of precious resources, manual labor or KFC refresher towelettes.