KEITH T. DENNETT | REAL LIFE | CONTACT
In business news, Australia’s premier telecommunications company has confirmed it’s jacking up the cost of services this week, despite saying a few months ago they definitely weren’t going to.
In an announcement made to shareholders, Telstra has confirmed the majority of their phone plans, pre-paid offers and mobile broadband services will be getting hiked up to the tune of between $2 and $4 a month.
When quizzed about the reasons behind the increase, head honchos at Telstra have rattled off the usual copy and paste response that every company in the nation likes to use when they’re planning to price gouge customers out the arse.
“We understand that Aussies are feeling the pressures of inflation at the moment, that’s why we don’t take this decision lightly,” CPGO (Chief Price Gouging Officer) Michael Whitcomb-Warner told The Advocate.
“However, given we grow our quality organic 4G signals here locally, the cost to produce product in the face of a skilled labour shortage and fluctuating weather patterns, means we must pass on costs to the customer.”
“Not to mention we’re still navigating sizable logistics delays arising from the pandemic.”
“Oh and there’s conflict in the Middle East.”
The news is a bitter pill to swallow for everyday Aussies given the company posted a $2.1bn profit in the 2023 financial year.
When asked if customers could expect any improvements to the company’s patchy service, Telstra has said it continues to work around the clock to provide great coverage nationwide, as long as people live in a major city and are within 50 metres of a phone tower.
“As a result of these price increases, we’re hoping to bolster our regional communications network,” Whitcomb-Warner told The Advocate via carrier pigeon, because our phone reception kept getting cutting out.
“It’s great news for customers in places like Lismore, Bendigo and Bunbury, and even Betoota, we think with some investment we can gift you regional hicks two bars of service every second Tuesday of the month.”
