ERROL PARKER | Editor-at-large | Contact
The Nationals have thrown disgraced One Nation identity Steve Dickson a lifeline this morning just hours after he was forced to resign over leaked videos showing him getting very handsy in a US strip club.
Speaking to reporters this morning in Canberra, Nationals leader Michael McCormack said that while it pains him to say it, many in his party like the cut of Mr Dickson’s jib.
“We have an election to win and unfortunately, Mr Dickson brings with him a lot of support from banjo areas of Queensland, which is somewhere we’re looking to capitalise on,” he said.
“The Nationals, unfortunately, have a proven track record of sexual misconduct and latent sexism so I guess he’ll feel more at home here. I can’t believe I’m saying this. John Anderson never had to go through this type of horse shit,”
“Anyway, we’d like to welcome yet another rooting machine aboard! May this election be a race to the bottom!”
The nation’s seventh sexiest man, Barnaby Joyce, was said to have been outraged by the decision, saying that the type of ‘shit’ Mr Dickson was caught doing was ‘crook’.
Speaking to The Advocate this morning via telephone, the Member for New England said Steve Dickson was unfit to wear the green and gold.
“He’s a fucking hypocrite,” said Joyce.
“I can’t believe Michael has let him join the team!”
Agriculture Minister, David Littleproud, echoed Mr Joyce’s sentiments.
“Yeah, he’s a pretty crook person, like in general, you know?” said Mr Littleproud.
“It’s bad enough we had that bald-faced goon, Andrew Broad, on staff for so long. I’ll tell you something for free. He can’t ride a horse, or fly a plane. I’ll let you work the rest out. Also, if you could leave out me being directly related to this watergate business, that’d be sick. Ok boys, have a good one!”
The Advocate reached out to Steve Dickson’s squash partner, George Christensen, for comment but he’s currently on leave in Subic Bay.
More to come.
