CLANCY OVERELL | Editor | CONTACT
With the ALP looking a lot like an out-of-form Bangladesh at Chittagong in 2006, The Prime Minister has today met with the only man that can help him bring it home.
This comes after The Nightwatchman flew from a flooded North Queensland to Moscow to meet with President overnight on Monday, in a failed bid to entice Russian hackers to interfere with the imminent Australian Federal Election.
Putin was unfortunately not very keen on helping the Coalition government stay in power, even if it meant having unbridled access to sensitive government documents which are already being hacked and accessed by ten-year-olds as it is.
With no luck, The Final Swirl decided to continue his desperate international pre-election-campaign campaign to the UK.
Landing in the South East English county of Sussex this afternoon, The Prime Minister was lucky enough to land a meeting with former Australian cricketing superstar, Jason ‘Dizzy’ Gillespie, who is currently head coach of the Sussex Sharks.
“What do you reckon, Dizzy?” asked the Prime Minister, while casually spinning a six-stitcher between his hands.
“You reckon I’ve got a double ton in me?”
Dizzy was quick to point out the key to nabbing a double century against a developing side, it also helps when you’re steaming off the back of a shared a 4th wicket partnership of 320 runs with Michael Hussey… And considering the fact that he is almost solely responsible for Malcolm Turnbull being run-out – he’s unlikely to ever reach the same heights as a nightwatchman.
“No chance mate.” said Dizzy.
“Just wait for daylight to run out and get a job at BHP”
Morrison, unsatisfied with Gillespie’s lack of faith, begins rubbing a cough lollie on the side of the ball.
“What are you even doing talking to me anyway?” spits Dizzy.
“I thought you hired Uncle Tony to talk to me on your behalf”
