Louis Burke | Culture | Contact
Extreme centrist party, Centre Alliance, formally known as the Nick Xenophon Team, may be fairing better in their home state of South Australia as new data revealed ‘The Xenophon’ is still the most requested haircut in South Australian barber shops.
After failing to gain the ominously named ‘balance of power’ in the 2018 South Australian State Election, Centre Alliance is glad to hear South Australians are following in the slightly spunky footsteps of the political equivalent of a former boy-band member who never bothered with a solo career.
“This is great news for us,” stated Mayo candidate and owner of most Australian woman’s name, Rebekha Sharkie.
“As long as South Australian’s continue to get the haircut and ignore the fact Nick is a toothless dingo who hates his own party I might have a chance in this by-election.”
Festival state barber Justin Fatone (44) says that the Centre Alliance’s election loss to a homeschooled Disney prince has not changed the popularity of people coming in asking for ‘The Xenophon.’
“It’s not just in here mate. Go to the Crazy Horse on a Friday night and it’s like they’re voting to ban pokies in there,” said the barber as he finished an immaculate Xenophon on a six-year-old girl.
More to come.
