WENDELL HUSSEY | Cadet | Contact
A popular student at South Betoota Polytechnic College has revealed a particularly useful lifehack to The Advocate this afternoon
That lifehack is the trick of getting a whole weeks’ worth of groceries at Coles for just $30.
William McQuade doesn’t use special coupons – or purchase stuff that’s about to go off.
He uses one simple, easy trick.
That trick is just manipulating the self-serve checkouts at the popular supermarket chain, or as some may call it, petty theft.
“Yeah, it’s pretty fucking easy mate. Avocados? I just weigh them as unwashed potatoes. Steak? Jam that shit into a mushroom bag and put it through as brown onions” he explained.
“It’s easy as.”
McQuade said it’s incredible how far $30 bucks can go.
“The other day, I managed to get a saucepan, a new 3 pack of Bonds undies, and some nice chocolates on top of my groceries as well.”
When we asked the 21-year-old about whether he saw it as criminal theft, he told us that he has some moral justification.
“Mate, I grew up out bush. Coles fucking rip off farmers every day of the year. I’m just getting some of it back. It’s not like I am thieving from Antonio’s little fruit store on anything. These big supermarket chains are pricks. Plus the cunts pay fuck all tax as well. This is the William tax.”
Our reporters contacted Coles for comment and they told us that while they detest the amount of stock these students are swindling, they save so much money by not hiring people that it doesn’t really matter in the end.
“We have a duopoly mate. We make a killing anyway. It’s nice to catch some of these smartarse kids but in the long run, the house always wins.” they said.
More to come.
