CLANCY OVERELL | Editor | CONTACT
The news that flash flooding has once again hit Townsville and its surrounding towns has rattled the deep North overnight, as emergency crews work flat out to ferry people to higher ground.
A new emergency alert, which went out at 12:30am this morning, warned residents in the town’s Northern sububrs that properties were at risk of flash flooding due to intense rainfall.
The unprecedented amount of rain in Townsville has caused the Ross River Dam to reach more than 200 per cent capacity, resulting in the immediate roll-out disaster relief
However, while the residents and businesses grieve a shonky start to the new year, there is still a silver lining to come from this devastating natural event.
Namely, the hunky snaps being taken of the members of the Army and Army Reserve, who have emerged from the barracks to help residents.
“Oi did you get that photo of me saving the bloke who was trapped on his car” asked a prominent military bachelor, Private Scotty, who will be using these photos for months to come on his hook-up dating profile.
“Oi how do my triceps look wrangling that outboard?!”
With more than 200 millimetres of rain falling over Bluewater in just two hours this morning, the only certainty from this natural disaster is that the chicks up north still love a man in uniform.
A spokesperson from the ADF says that rewarding the army boys with some red hot Tinder pics is a relatively new phenomena for disaster relief, but it’s definitely got them working hard.
“I’ve never seen this many blokes intentionally not rubbing dirt and sweat off their foreheads”
“They are really going for that Peace Brosnan in Dante’s Peak look”
Premier Annastacia Palaszczuk said several thousand homes may have been inundated overnight, but even the houses in Townsville won’t be as flooded as Tinder will be with hunky army boys.
MORE TO COME.
