ERROL PARKER | Editor-at-large | Contact
The Albanese Government has been forced to send Trade Minister Don Farrell to Washington after an attempted charm offensive featuring the Prime Minister’s cavoodle, Toto, failed to sway Donald Trump on steel tariffs.
Trump, who recently announced a 25 per cent tariff on all steel and aluminium imports, has refused to grant Australia an exemption for now, a decision that could severely impact the local industry. In an effort to soften negotiations, Albanese deployed his go-to diplomatic tool. His dog.
Sources within the Australian delegation say Toto was wheeled out in front of Trump at a private meeting, with Albo hoping to capitalise on the former president’s well-documented fondness for flattery and theatrics. The plan fell apart immediately.
Trump, a lifelong opponent of dogs, recoiled at the sight of the cavoodle before launching into a 15-minute rant about how “real leaders” do not own pets.
“Putin? He loves dogs. Xi? No dog. Little Rocket Man? No dog,” Trump reportedly said.
“Churchill had a dog. But he was fat. You know that, right? I like my leaders strong.”
Attempts to shift the conversation back to trade were unsuccessful, with Trump instead doubling down on his disdain for dogs and telling the Australians that “maybe if you got a cat, we could talk.”
With negotiations at a standstill, Farrell has been dispatched to pick up the pieces. Government sources say the trade minister will attempt a more conventional approach that does not involve small, non-working animals.
More to come.
