Turnbull Takes Private Moment To Enjoy Lamington With Knife And Fork Like He Always Used To

LOUIS BURKE | Culture | CONTACT

Enjoying life outside of constant media scrutiny, former Prime Minister Malcolm Turnbull took a private moment to partake in one of his guilty pleasures that he would have never risked doing while in office.

“Could you imagine the field day those Murdoch pricks would have had if they’d of seen me doing this?” asked Turnbull as he laid out his Christofle cutlery set for one.

“After all they did for me.”

Not having to worry about spying paparazzi or Russian satellites looking in, the former Prime Minister relaxed on his Point Piper balcony and began enjoying an artisanal lamington which he sliced delicately with a knife and fork.

“This. It’s what I’ve been waiting for. Oh sweet Oden, you have delivered me to Valhalla.”

While the former PMs food choices may seem mundane to some, for Turnbull they are a treasured treat that would have likely seen the first leadership coup against him to be a successful one.

“Ordinary Australians (laughs) seem to be really obsessed with how their betters eat common food. I can’t be walking around with coconut on my fingers all day like some heavy machinery operator.”

As Turnbull slowly carved his lamington on Lucy’s finest bone china, he stopped several times to appreciate the taste by waving his cutlery in the air like a conductor and ordering Zumbo to put on another batch.

“This is what I like to call my Australia”

MORE TO COME.