Twist: Great Barrier Reef Apparently On Fire Now Too

LOUIS BURKE | Culture | CONTACT

In what has been hardly a slow start to the year for lovers of shit news, it has been confirmed that the Great Barrier Reef is on fire now too.

With the loss of native animal life estimated to be over one billion, thousands of homes destroyed, over 30 lives lost and an estimated 5.22 million hectares burnt, the recent spate of bushfires have arguably been the most destructive event The Greens have ever caused.

Although major fires continue to be contained by firefighting efforts, it was unfortunately not enough to stop the 2,300 kilometres long Barrier Reef from going up in a blaze.

The sub-aquatic fire is the latest blow to the precarious Barrier Reef that is already affected by rising ocean temperatures that have caused the fragile ecosystem to collapse and lose the support of Baby Boomers as they learn the reef is about as sensitive as a millennial. 

And like it’s sensitive millennial supporters, the Great Barrier Reef is officially lit.

Prime Minister Scott Morrison was seen in the ash-laden northern waters forcing a lobster to shake his hand.