CLANCY OVERELL | Editor | Contact

After a night out in the Harbour city, Bridgette McClymont (20) says the most interesting and exciting part of the evening was her Uber driver home.

“He was very interesting. He used to work in real estate but now he’s semi-retired because he’s discovered this cool new multi-layered marketing business” says Bridgette, who finished dinner at 10:03 in Kings Cross, only to learn that it was time to go to bed because all the bottle shops had shut.

“Yeah, he used to live in Newcastle. Which was also interesting, because now he lives in Parramatta.”

“He also sells these health supplements that you can sell as well take. He reckons I could work from home two days a week”

In an increasingly quiet and lifeless Australian capital city, the streets of Sydney have seen a 90% drop in foot traffic since the lock out laws were implemented in 2014. This means majority of Sydney youth are now forced to stay put on weekends in their exorbitantly high rental homes.

The remaining 10% in foot traffic is predominantly grey-haired baby boomers who think it is appropriate to walk their dogs at 11pm on a Friday night.

In October 2015, Former Premier Baird brought the entire audience at the NSW Women’s Temperance League to tears with his emotional recount of how his Dad had to miss church one morning in the 60’s because he had too many beers the night before. A firm and fair justification of the new laws.

However, with it now illegal to even sell kebabs past midnight in Sydney city, visiting Betoota resident Bridgitte McClymont literally has nothing she can do until the day trade begins at roughly 6:30 am.

“I’ll get up nice and early for a coffee, I guess,”

“I can’t believe my Uber driver tonight was working so late.”

5 COMMENTS

  1. Well that Uber driver would have felt at home at least. Newcastle being the birth place of this particular moralistic frenzy. If you want to get drunk late and punch on in Newcastle these days you will have to visit one of the freshly sprouted speakeasy establishments. Most have beer taps and toilets and a suitably jovial atmosphere.

    • Hey smart guy, if you had more than a third grade education you’d understand how complex sentences work.

      Sydney is the capital of NSW so it is AN Australian capital city.

  2. I also wish Sydney wasn’t the capital . A bit further south is a town full of pingers, pro’s, bungers and bongers. As recently mentioned in one esteemed publication it is also the melting pot of a wonderfully robust cool climate hybrid, marijuana varital.

    The case against it is that every other town in Australia seems to want to send their biggest dickhead there.

    Hope I provided a spelling mistake or gramatical error to negate the value of my post.

  3. @Peter Wilson
    “an (snip) Australian capital city” does not equate to “the capital of Australia”. Sydney, Melbourne, and Perth are all capital cities of their relative states. They are also Australian. This makes Sydney “an Australian capital city”.

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