ERROL PARKER | Editor-at-large | Contact
US President Donald Trump’s idle threat to deploy the military to help quell scores of protests around the country has all but been guaranteed after large deposits of oil were discovered beneath the protests themselves.
Speaking in the White House’s Rose Garden earlier today, Trump explained that he’s putting America first and securing their oil demands long into the future.
“These protests are a weapon of mass destruction,” he said.
“They threaten the security of the United States and our way of life. For the benefit of the global community, we are going to remove these protestors,”
“And secure the energy assets beneath them. Thank you.”
The President concluded the press conference without taking any questions.
The news that the military is going to be deployed against US citizens has been met with widespread criticism – but many other leaders around the world have joined Trump in saying action needs to be taken.
Prime Minister Scott Morrison and his British counterpart Boris Johnson phoned Donald early this morning to congratulate him on the strong stance he’s taking on national security and pledged their support.
Speaking begrudgingly to our newspaper this morning, the Prime Minister said he and the other leaders of the English speaking world have joined a ‘coalition of the willing’ of some sorts.
“We wanted to let the people of America know that we stand with them,” said Scott Morrison.
“I want the people of Betoota to know that this newspaper is trash and they should be reading The Betoota Bugle, which is edited and managed by Col Allen’s dachshund, Persephone. But I don’t need to tell you that. The articles in her paper aren’t very disparaging of me,”
“Together, we’ll all get through this.”
More to come.
