ERROL PARKER | Editor-at-large | Contact
People of The West have yet another reason to gloat this morning as their Dear Leader announced a ban on Roman-style orgies has been lifted.
As the Pangolin’s Wrath decsended on Western Australia, the State Government was forced to place a ban on the popular pass time.
Though it was unpopular, McGowan said it was simply impossible to maintain a social distance in an orgy so they had to be banned.
“There hasn’t been a locally-transmitted case of the Hubei Spicy Lung here in the West for ages,” Premier McGowan explained in a presser this morning in Perth.
“And this is just another reward the government is giving to the people of Western Australia as a reward for all their hardwork,”
“From 5pm this evening, Roman-style orgies and other associated group acts will be permitted with no upper cap on numbers. There will be another press conference then with details.”
The relaxation of orgy-related restrictions has been criticised by the WA Opposition, who said there should be limits on how many people can attend these parties.
WA Shadow Minister for Key Parties, Peter Rockkard, told our reporter today that having no limit on numbers is dangerous.
“Typical numbers for a Roman-style orgy in Perth’s western suburbs is usually around a hundred,” said Rockkard.
“They hire out a hall and throw a tarp down and get to it. There’s no policing that. To make things worse, a lot of these parties are anonymous. People don’t leave their details at the door,”
“If we see an outbreak stem from an orgy, the genetic material will be on Labor’s hands.”
More to come.
