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Senior Australian Government sources have confirmed that Deputy Prime Minister Barnaby Joyce has offered to take Malcolm Turnbull and US President Donald Trump’s tense gridlock into his own hands.
“Want me to sort this bloke out or what?” he asked, after a long week of miscommunication between the two leaders and a media frenzy surrounding their treatment of eachother.
It is believed Turnbull and Trump had a “robust” and shorter than expected phone call, which Mr Trump reportedly labelled “the worst by far” of a clutch of calls to world leaders.
According to The Washington Post, Mr Trump claimed the refugee resettlement deal struck with former US president Barack Obama was “the worst deal ever”, before abruptly ending the 25-minute phone call.
Mr Trump reportedly accused the Prime Minister of seeking to export the “next Boston bombers” to the US, and complained that the deal was going to kill him politically.
He reportedly said “I don’t want these people” while discussing the resettlement deal with Mr Turnbull
Today, as the hiccups between the two leaders become international news, Deputy Prime Minister Barnaby Joyce has offered to ‘take this one’ in his own hands.
“Next time that bloke calls, put me on” said Barnaby, while pouring the remainder of his hip flask of Bundaberg rum into an International Roast instant coffee.
“I’ll show him the fucking worst by far”
Turnbull, nervous about Mr Joyce’s track record with offending famous Americans, has asked the Deputy Prime Minister to please remain calm.
“Barnaby, you cannot fight him. He’s heavily guarded. Please, dear”
A disappointed Deputy PM responded by tweeting to Trump “Come to Woolbrook some time. I fkn dare u”
