CLANCY OVERELL | Editor | CONTACT
A recent report by literally anyone going outside right now suggests that it’s not fucken warm, in fact it’s a bit fresh out there.
This comes as Betoota looks to hit a low of 4° tonight, with many of the locals opting to throw on scarfs, in turn adhering to the cultural practices of our South Australian neighbours.
“Ah shit. This is gonna be a cold fucking winter. Where’s that global warming. These lefties are full of shit” says local reactionary voter, Sussane Switts (59)
Brisbane hits a low of 14° – a fucking cold temperature for people who still swim throughout the most of Winter.
Lesser places in the country are also experiencing a dip with Sydney 11°, Melbourne 11.5°, Perth 14.8°, Adelaide 10.3°, Hobart 5° Canberra 9.8°.
50,000 are without power in the West, as storms continue to batter Perth. The New South Wales coast also being hit by rain and strong winds.
As was hilariously expected, Darwin is currently sitting at 30° as of close of business, which is as usual, because they have eradicated COVID-19 in the Top End.
Regional areas are also copping it, with remote parts of South Australia experiencing black outs again, even after Elon saved them all with that giant car battery.
Local Betootan, Kyle Billot (19, apprentice baker) says he is absolutely freezing his tits off, and reiterated the findings that it is not fucking warm.
“Fuck this shit” he said.
“The desert is fucked. Bring back the 40 odd average we had over summer”
“rain’s good, but. If it gets here”
