Wednesday Cancelled Due To Lack Of Interest

FRANKIE DeGROOT | News | CONTACT

The general public has reacted with enthusiasm today to news that this coming Wednesday has been cancelled by order of Her Majesty Queen Elizabeth II.

The decision, which affects the UK, Australia and all other Commonwealth countries; even the shit ones, actually started at the Betoota Wash ‘n’ Wax ‘n’ Body Piercings.

Staff members were complaining about the fact that there were no Wednesday bookings but they still needed to come in anyway.

A suggestion was made that if Tuesday led straight to Thursday, the weekend would arrive sooner with no noticeable impact on productivity.

As the suggestion filtered upwards through management of the business and surrounding businesses it was realised that nobody had anything of note planned for Wednesday and the proposal started to gain traction.

Obviously it did not take long for the concept to travel from the powerhouse of the Betoota CBD through the buffoonish Australian Parliament to Buckingham Palace and the sensible proposal was approved immediately.

“It gives me great pleasure to announce that this coming Wednesday is cancelled due to a lack of interest” the Queen announced in a televised speech on Monday night.

“Thursday will follow Tuesday and the rest of the week is to continue in a conventional fashion as one might reasonably expect it to. I feel this decision is in the best interests of the Commonwealth as it will get everyone to the weekend more expeditiously, that we may play with our Corgis, tinker with our Daimlers and shotgun JBs in inflatable pools”.

Reaction to the announcement has been mainly positive as Thursday’s late night shopping and Tuesday’s pizza discounts will not be affected.

However, minor inconveniences may be experienced by people who enjoy making jokes about “hump day”, who will now have to wait until next Wednesday.