ERROL PARKER | Editor-at-large | Contact
The people of West Papua have been told today by the Australian Government that if they’re looking at gaining some sort of independence in the next couple years, it’d be pertinent of them to offer up some natural resources to sweeten the deal.
The Prime Minister began by saying he wasn’t the Asia-Pacific’s own version of The Smith Family and that East Timor only got their independence because they effectively agreed to hand over most of the oil in the Timor Sea.
“It’s that simple,” said Scott Morrison in a fatherly, yet patronising higher tone than his usual voice.
“We know they’ve got a whole lot of gold up there. A fair amount of oil. Perhaps if they agreed to sign over some of their coal, we might be able to get something cracking at the UN,”
“Who knows, with a little gold, we might be able to get a resolution through the UN and a groovy little task force in there to shoot half a dozen Indonesian soldiers, maybe sink a corvette with one of our new subs. Then maybe you’ll get your independence,”
“So just let that simmer, my little Papuans. Come back to me when you’re ready to play ball.”
More to come.
