ERROL PARKER | Editor-at-large | Contact
“Why the hell do we need to pay someone to get married in a shed?”
“I’ve got like ten of them out on the farm we could use! It just boggles the mind. No wonder young people don’t have any money.”
It makes sense – but Mark Donald just doesn’t get it.
What ‘it’ is, he’ll probably never know.
However, one thing he does know is the value of a dollar and what it takes to make one.
Which is why, he told The Advocate, he floated the idea of eloping with his fiancé because he can’t wrap his head around spending the best part of a house deposit on a party.
“It’s stupid,” he said.
“Twenty-one thousand Australian pesos to stand in a shearing shed for three hours. I’ve got a shearing shed! I won’t charge us anything. And you want to get married in January. In a shed. In Betoota,”
“And there’s 120 people coming. That’s 120 handshakes and 120 conversations I don’t really want to have if I’m being honest. I’m a Catholic, too and we all know how much your Dad hates Catholics. He’s going to be sat in a room full of cattle ticks! Have you considered that?”
Our reporter spoke to Mark’s fiancé, Peroni Flanders, who told The Advocate that while Mark is a ‘sweet and practical young man’ he doesn’t understand the true reason why people have weddings.
The 29-year-old professional punter explained that weddings aren’t necessarily about you, they a day for your friends and family to celebrate you – and eloping in most circumstances is just plain rude.
“A wedding is a party, not just two people signing a contract to get the government and law involved in their relationship,” she said.
It’s a party that all your family (not just the ones you can bear to be around) and friends to come together and give you back pats and congratulations,”
“Eloping is so, so selfish. You’re denying the most important people in your life a chance to be happy for you. I wouldn’t do it.”
Mark then sighed and resigned to the fact that everything was now out of his control.
“As long as you’re happy having the honeymoon at Echuca.”
More to come.
