EFFIE BATEMAN | BRISBANE | CONTACT
Local woman Jessica Langdon is back into the dating scene after redownloading all the dating apps for the fourth time this year alone.
Unlike the other times, which involved a lot of matches but no conversations, Jessica has finally managed to wrangle a bloke into having dinner with her.
But unfortunately for Jessica, her current date isn’t exactly a gifted conversationalist – which is to be expected given that his Tinder bio lists nothing but his height.
Still, after swiping through a series of badly lit bathroom mirror selfies, close up shots of barely discernible abs and blokes holding up dead animals, Jessica figured Jake the tall, hunky real estate agent probably isn’t too bad.
Even if the conversation is a little bit dry.
“I do this thing called calisthenics. Have you heard of it? Yeah, it’s like this lesser-known workout technique but it’s the best. Things like Crossfit are so commercial. It’s so fucking dangerous too, especially if you don’t know what you’re doing which is most people. My mate Dylan knows someone who tore his frenulum doing that shit.”
“Have you seen The Other Guys? So fucking funny. Mark Wahlberg is such a tank.”
As she hmms and ha’s her through the conversation, Jessica finds herself staring at an ornate ceiling light hanging above a table to six, and wondering who it would fall on top of.
“Fucking closed so many leads this week, smashed it out the park. Gerritson reckoned it’d take me at least a solid month to sell off one of the waterfront properties due to the whole recession shit but it only took me three days.”
“Glad to be in the office though hey. Hated working alone from home. Thought about actually getting someone in but I don’t know how I feel about being a landlord.”
“You travelled much? You haven’t lived until you’ve done an ayahuasca retreat in Peru. I mean, it’s pretty easy for me to just fuck off whenever I want because I have European citizenship haha.”
More to come.
