EFFIE BATEMAN | Lifestyle | Contact
A millennial woman has this week been left clutching at her pearls, after her ten year old niece made a rather bizarre birthday present request.
Expecting to hear sort of toy or book, Evelyn Christensen was feeling confused and appalled by the state of the world as she learned her niece Kailey is a Sephora kid – a nickname that has popped up online the past few weeks, after Tik Tok users began sharing unpleasant experiences about young children shopping for active ingredient skincare in makeup stores such as Sephora and Mecca Cosmetica.
Evelyn says it was at that point that she felt like the future was doomed, and that she was sincerely concerned about the future of not only Kaileys mental health, but other alpha generation kids.
“I didn’t use skincare until I was thirteen, and even then, it was that Proactiv shit”, explains Evelyn, “my entire ‘beauty regime’ was that, Lucas Papaw ointment and maybe some tinted lip balm if I could get away with it.”
“These kids are ten and are already ruining their skin barrier.”
“Welcome to a lifetime of perioral dermatitis, kid.”
Explaining that she understands young girls tend to show interest in beauty products, Evelyn says there’s a big difference between shimmery eyeshadow and painted nails, and having a five step, $200 skincare regimen.
“I don’t mind, to me there was an innocence to young girls wanted to wear sparkly makeup. Using skincare with ingredients meant to slow down the signs of ageing is just sinister.”
“I’m going to sound old as fuck, but social media really is a fucking disease. I just saw a kid on my Instagram reels doing that whole ‘get ready with me’ thing that influencers do, and she’s got a whole regime.”
“She couldn’t have been older than eight.”
“The reel had a million views. A MILLION VIEWS.”
“Where the fuck are her parents?”
“You should be learning your ABCs, not your AHAs.”
More to come.
