KENT REGINALD | Entertainment | CONTACT
The United Nations has today issued a shocking statement the status of pop superstar and rejected Bond villain, Pitbull, leaving the rapper unable to use his now famous moniker, ‘Mr. Worldwide’.
“It has come to the attention of the United Nations that the artist formerly and currently known as Pitbull has not been fulfilling his ambassadorial duties as THE Mr. Worldwide”, said United Nations Secretary-General, Antonio Guterres. “We have been informed that Mr Pitbull has lost his passport – and he hadn’t even visited every continent anyway”
“For example, Mr. Bull has not yet performed in the South Sudan, despite that region being a part of the world”
“Therefore, we have been left with no option but to strip Mr. Bull of his title, and to revert him to a more apt designation of ‘Mr. Central Miami’”
The move comes as a shock to the dozens of Pitbull fans, or the Bull Squad as only they call themselves, across the planet, who had reportedly taken a lot of pride in being associated with someone with such a prestigious position within the world.
“Honestly, this changes everything”, said captain of the Betoota chapter of the Bull Squad, Steven Bull (no relation)
“The one thing we loved about Pitbull more than his musical talent was the fact that he had complete freedom of movement across national and continental borders. Without that, I don’t know if we can sustain our fanbase for long”
The rapper himself issued a press release just hours after the announcement, in which he regretfully accepted the decision passed down by the UN General Assembly, and vowed to do everything in his power to once again become the global ambassador the world deserved.
“At least I still hold the title of Mr 305” he said sadly.
