ERROL PARKER | Editor-at-large | Contact

Prime Minister Anthony Albanese is off to Laos this evening for the ASEAN-Australia and East Asia summits — and he’s glad to be going, he says.

During the Prime Minister’s bi-weekly content strategy conference call with The Advocate’s editorial team, Mr Albanese touched on the wasted day they had in Parliament this week because he said some “dumb fucking rural” had Tourette’s syndrome.

“What a way to piss a day up the wall,” said the PM.

“You know, you’ve got the Shadow Minister for Veterans Affairs, Mr Barnaby Joyce, yelling at me as I’m try to talk and I just happened to suggest that perhaps the Member for New England is possibly neurodivergent, because he fucking is, and that he might have Tourette’s because he can’t shut that fucking hole in his face for five minutes while I’m talking, and now I’m getting hanged, drawn and quartered by Members opposite over my ableist language while they file in behind the bald-headed Pauline,”

“It’s fucking dumb as fuck. I can tell you all now that it takes a lot more than that to offend a Member of the Nationals. You know what offends them? When people like Malcolm Turnbull pop their head into the party room to say it’s funny how he, a merchant banker from Point Piper, owns more cattle than the whole National Party put together, that’s what pisses them off. Not me putting shit on Barnaby for being firmly entrenched on the autism spectrum.”

A silence filled the call until The Advocate’s cadet Wendell Hussey tried to move the call on.

“You know, I’m glad to be off to Laos. They reckon Tourette’s would be funny. You know, a bloke walking down the street and for no reason, yells ‘FUCK!’ at the top of his lungs. Hilarious.”

The Advocate reached out to the Laotian consular-general in Brisbane for comment on the PM’s remarks. A spokesperson for the consulate said Laotian people would indeed find Tourette’s to be very humorous indeed.

More to come.

LEAVE A REPLY

Please enter your comment!
Please enter your name here