In a move being described by many as ‘bizarre’, ‘insane’, and ‘very in-character’, Donald Trump has officially tendered his resignation from the office of President of the United States, citing the recent Eminem rap about him as the ‘final straw’.
Republicans have urged Donald Trump to save face and resign immediately after being ‘lit up’ by Eminem during a BET freestyle.
Trump, who’s short-lived Presidency has been marred by controversy and, more importantly, his overall personality, announced the decision via a tearful statement to gathered media in the White House Press Room.
“Obviously, I have faced a lot of attacks from bad, bad people over the last 10 months”.
“I’ve had losers like the American Civil Liberties Union attack me for trying to ban Muslims. I’ve had ‘respected’ journalists be mean to me all the time, just because I called them ‘fake news’ and threatened to shut a few of them down. I’ve been attacked on Twitter, even though I made Twitter what it is today”
“I’ve had world leaders cowardly denounce my actions, even though I only threatened war TWICE. I even had an entire gender protest against me, just because I joked about how I actually for-real grab women by the pussy some times.
“I’ve been attacked by CEOs, political activists, my own GOP party, judges, doctors, members of the press, and by millions of average Americans, every day”.
“But all of that pales in comparison to Eminem’s 4 and a half minute rap about me. I am deeply saddened that a personal hero of mine would say such vile and accurate things about me”.
Trump went on to criticize specific lines in the rap.
‘Cause what we got in office now’s a kamikaze
That’ll probably cause a nuclear holocaust
And while the drama pops
And he waits for s**t to quiet down, he’ll just gas his plane up and fly around ’til the bombing stops’
“That’s just fake news. I’m not even Japanese.”
