LOUIS BURKE | Culture | CONTACT
US authorities have put the word out that alleged human trafficker P. Diddy may be travelling under several different names to avoid capture.
Born Sean Combs, the rapper known as P.Diddy started his vague musical career as ‘Puffy’ before changing it to Puff Daddy before changing to P.Diddy, then just Diddy, then Sean Combs, then Sean P.Diddy Combs, P.Diddy again for a bit, then LOVE aka Brother Love after he had an especially good birthday, and now just by whatever you wanna call him because he’s possibly a human trafficker.
He also has ties to self-titled clothing label known as ‘Sean John’.
Not only has P.Diddy made a ridiculous amount of name changes in his career, the amount is especially astounding considering none of us have ever met anyone who listens to his music.
In fact, nobody can name any songs that he has actually released under any of these names. Aside from appearing as a brief feature artist on singles released by other musicians, it is not really clear what exactly P Diddy has done with himself outside of securing the rights to the unreleased catalogue of the late Biggie Smalls in the late 1990s.
Multiple US intelligence and police enforcement agencies are currently engaged in an international manhunt for P. Diddy, and have issued warnings to the public.
“Be sure to check in with your loved ones, to make sure any of them aren’t secretly P. Diddy,” stated US head of Homeland Security Alejandro Mayorkas, in front of a corkboard with photos of Puff Daddy, P.Diddy and Diddy alongside a note that asks ‘same person?’
“The public should be warned, he is a self confessed bad boy for life.”
Although the general public is not used to the idea that a human trafficker may be brought to justice, it’s worth remembering that Diddy is the first millionaire in his entire family tree, and that all of his powerful contacts are mostly members of the low-brow ‘hip hop’ industry.
MORE TO COME.
