ERROL PARKER | Editor-at-large | Contact
A local beef producer is on the road headed to Sydney this morning equiped with nothing except a 1994 street directory and a “she’ll be right” attitude toward what’s to come.
A shunner of smart phone technology and Apple Carplay, Clyde Mawson of ‘Ucharonidge’ via Betoota, was warned by both his wife and youngest daughter that perhaps he should be driving to Dubbo and flying in from there – but the 65-year-old told The Advocate that he preferred to drive.
Speaking to The Advocate after enjoying a mixed grill for breakfast in the bistro annex of his Dubbo motel, Mawson said he studied a few pages of the street directory last night and feels confident he can make it all the way from Wheelers Lane to Double Bay without much trouble.
“I know it’s a bit out-of-date but the city hasn’t changed much,” he said quite loudly into his Nokia 6300.
“I’m not too worried, she’ll be right. From here, it’s a piece of piss, really. Dubbo out past the cemetary on the Dunedoo Road, slips down to Mudgee via Goolma and down to Lithgow. I remember Lithgow. Colder than a penguin’s cock that place. I’m going to go over that Bells Line of Road, I remember that being quiet. You can get stuck behind caravans, towed by some fat retiree that leaves their left foot resting on the brake. That won’t worry me, I’m in no rush,”
“And then from there, the map tells me there’s not much between that Richmond RAAF Base and the new M2 expresseway. Now, I know you’re supposed to have that e-Tag but my daughter is going to go on the computer and pay the toll when I arrive. The M2 should take me to, uh, hold on, I’ll have a look. That’s right, I go over the hump through Lane Cove – or Lana Del Cové as my daughter calls it. She’s been to Sydney a few times,”
“From there, it gets tricky. Getting over the bridge and or tunnel will be tricky but this street directory tells me there’s a new Warringbah Highway or something I can get on. As long as there’s signs, it’ll be right,”
“I’m driving a half-rooted Prado covered in red dirt with a four-post Tuff bar and two aerials up front, UHF and VHF – so you’d think people will have a bit of patience with me and let me in. One can hope, anyway. From there, it’s pretty easy. Nah, she’ll be right, mate. As long as there’s no traffic, I’ll be fine,”
“I’ll let you know how I go.”
More to come.
